I am exhausted.
Work is taking its toll on me..and yet most times, I still never quite feel good enough. It's so fast paced, so whirlwind, that before I know it another week has passed me by and I've never been able to accomplish quite enough. It's difficult, and I know that there will be a reprieve again this winter (as there always is) but for now, I'm tired. It's especially difficult because most times I work to an end goal. Usually, this goal is Thanksgiving...and it's nice because everything winds down, I'm ready to be done...family get togethers AND it's my birthday. And my brother's fiances birthday. And my cousins husbands birthday. Mid October is basically BIRTHDAY PAAAAAAALOOOOZA! Which is the best kind of palooza out there, just in case you were wondering.
This year though?
This year brings new challenges and new activities. This year means that the season is stretching a little longer than it use to..and brings a lot of work that needs to be done. In some ways, I'm excited for it..because it's something new, exciting and a challenge. It's something different that will be fun to try. However..it also means that my usual end goal of October is thrown out the window..and this year, Thanksgiving weekend will be a busy weekend filled with a million different things to do.
And I'm already exhausted.
It probably doesn't help that my schedule means that some days I'm up later in the day..while others I have to be up while the stars are still out. And that other days I'm up throughout the night with a crying baby...and sometimes I can't even drag myself out of bed to help. The other night I was so tired..but I knew that my cousin was too...so I was like..if you can just HAND me the baby..then I can give him a bottle and by then I'll be able to put him back to bed..but I don't think I can get up right now. Having your sleep schedule disrupted every night and still trying to work..ugh..slightly insane. And I don't want to complain...because of course I love them both dearly and would (and will) do anything for them..but I'm just..tired.
It's just been a long week...filled with disrupted nights, early mornings and long days...
Let's just say I have a completely new respect for mothers, working mothers..and for fathers who have to go back to work while they still have a newborn in the house.
I'll elaborate more later. For now, I'm going back to doze infront of the television and bask in my glorious two "days off"